My inspiration, my creative memoir. It all started with him thirty years ago this week. Our son came into our lives, turned it upside down and then left us exactly eight weeks later. When it happened, I believe we were in shock and went back to normal. If you call being childless normal, the worst part of it was pretending everything was all right, pretending that your heart wasn’t shattered into tattered rags, some so thin that no matter how much you tried to stitch it together there just wasn’t enough of the cloth left to sew into. So you let them go and they swish around in the cavity that holds your heart. That rag analogy came to me as I write the second draft of my next Bollywood inspired University series duet, Sonali & Deepak. It's a scene when Sonali eventually

I started this month in trepidation. It is the first year anniversary of the publication of Where Have Come, what should have been a celebration has turned into a time reflecting on what type of society I want to live in.

The date we lost our son is also the date for International Women's Day. He is the inspiration for who I am and what I do now. I believe he has shaped who we are, as a couple, as a family, as parents and most importantly as human beings. I believe we are better people because he came into our life.

There are far too many words for the humble potato and tomato and who doesn’t like a good bateta nu shaak or is it bateka? Even in Gujarati the language many things are pronounced differently too. I came across one of Parle Patel’s skits on Instagram about hando, ondhwo, andhwo, and it started me on a quick research. What do you call potato and tomato in your language? I got a huge response on social media, for our staple go to starch and the fruit that’s disguised as a vegetable.

A new year and a new beginning. I used to have new year’s resolutions, but as I grow older and wiser I’ve abandoned them. So I welcome 2021 with a blank slate, not much in the calendar. A huge embrace for the unknown and what the year has in store for me and mine. In this time of uncertainty, it is futile to plan holidays, family gatherings, or even a catch up with friends. It will happen, just be patience. New mantra, it will happen.

December for most people is a time for reflection, and this year more than ever has given me a time to think of where I was last year.

If you read my last blog post, I’d already mentioned celebration, and COVID has certainly provided a memento of celebration, albeit differently.

But first let me tell you where I was this time last year;

I published my first blog post

I finished my menus and glossary for my books

I created a file to upload onto Draft 2 Digital, a platform for ebook publishing and distribution

I had artwork back from my book cover designer, the amazing Mita Gohel

It has been quite a year. My journey from wanting to tell my story to finally building the courage to write it down, send it to people who read it, who asked questions, helped hone it. Then sending it into the world for all to read it or not. Self-publishing has been tough. I’ve joined groups where authors have hit the best-seller list on launch day. I even found out that one debut author’s husband sent everyone in his firm, free copies of his wife’s book.

A few of my ardent supporters brought my books and left reviews, one of my nearest and dearest commented, “ all these reviews are from friends, they don’t count.”

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

John Lennon as we remember him on his 80th birthday

It's been tough these past weeks, everyone fearful that the virus is spreading again. Confusion reigns. Only six people can meet in doors, is it the same six people in your bubble? Or can you meet with five different people, one after the other? Are children counted as the six? What about restaurants and pubs? The questions that haunt us all in this time of uncertainty. It’s far too complicated. I feel for all the people who had shielded for so long and had met with loved ones again. The people who are suffering from isolation, and the increasing levels of anxiety.

You got it, you’re wow, wow, wow, wow

In the words of Kylie Minogue, Greg Kurstin and Karen Poole

Proofs read, corrections made, colours matched, and I pressed the button to make my books live on Amazon and Ingram Sparks at the end of August. My author copies ordered from Ingram Sparks and guess what Where Have You Come arrived first. That’s a sign, right? The story of our first-born son, the inspiration for my story, the reason I wrote the books in the first place.

We were in Brighton for the early part of last week, and before we went, I’d sent my covers and book interior to KDP expecting my proofs to when we returned, but they arrived early and we came home to these books, I couldn’t believe it. My books have been available on all e-book platforms when I say all, I mean Amazon Kindle, Apple Books, B&N Nook, Rakuten Kobo, Google, since the beginning of the year, so I shouldn’t be this excited, but I am.